Celebrating the Ridiculous

Category Archives: Soap operas

I should probably learn how to crop in WordPress.

The profile is helping no one.

… because nothing says ‘Believe me, I’m totally sane!’ like thinking a shirt with SHOULDER CUT OUTS is appropriate court room attire. You’re never going to convince people vampires exist this way, Lucy!

We missed you something awful, Lucy!

We missed you something awful, Lucy!

(How great was it to see Lucy, Mac, Felicia, and Alexis in a scene together?! I think I’m obviously going to have to send Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati a valentine.)

 

Advertisements

Soap opera actors often hop from soap to soap. In rare instances they play the same character, a la Skye Chandler Quartermaine, hopping amidst the ABC daytime dramas, but more often than not, they take on an entirely new persona. I remember when I discovered that my beloved Lucky No. 2 had hopped to another soap, thanks to a commercial. I felt downright betrayed! But it is the right of the actor to flip-flop amongst daytime dramas, and we all pretend that it’s totally normal that Jason Morgan, hitman, is now going to be Dylan McAvoy, veteran.

But on General Hospital as of late, new-ish head writer Ron Carlivati is having an awful lot of fun with this little proclivity. He’s doing something quite revolutionary in the soap world: He’s making the characters notice, really notice when faces are familiar from all of  this soap hopping. He’s having so much fun that yesterday he had my beloved Lucy Coe full-on stab John McBain because she was convinced he was Caleb, king (or prince?!) of the vampires, from the erstwhile GH-spin off, Port Charles.

Carlivati spun another storyline where Carly and Skye realized that Alcazar was Blair’s beloved Tomas (Carly even did a google image search, which was delightful because no one on soaps ever seems to really know about the Internet), and off the women went on a wild goose chase for answers. I’m not quite sure where Carlivati’s going with all of this, but it’s very tongue-in-cheek and rewarding for long-time viewers, those who are reviving soaps with ever-increasing viewership, so I say, keep it up, friend! (In my mind, we’re totally friends. The Secret, baby.)


 

Look at that hang dog expression. Do not fall for it!

Look at that hang dog expression. Do not fall for it!

Here’s the thing about this trope, it’s also true in real life! (Which is the thing about a lot of tropes, which is how they come to be tropes in the first place. Deep thoughts, man.) Today we tackle: the self-professed asshole. Oh yes, you know him. You’ve probably dated him! I know I have, he’s very charming, I don’t blame us in the slightest.

General Hospital’s Todd Manning has told Carly he’s a bad person countless times. (Seriously, I actually lost count, because he’s said it over and over again for months and months.) He’s not a good guy, he’s not good enough for her, he’s not good enough for anyone. And yet Carly (no prize herself, let’s be honest) totally fell for him. Just like we did that one time back in college. And high school. And when we were 24. But never after that. You tend to wise up to these dudes at some point (one hopes). You must realize that THEY ARE TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. Right upfront! They are jerks! They are going to, at some point, treat you like crap. And you can’t get mad, because they told you ahead of time, they warned you, and you did not listen, you silly, silly girl.

And the thing is, they’re kind of right. I mean, of course we have the right to get mad, just because you tell someone you’re a jerk doesn’t actually give you license to act like a jerk, we live in a society, man, there are rules. But at the same time, they have a point, they warned us. And yet, for Carly, for the rest of us, sometimes it’s like waving a red flag in front a of a charging bull. Oh you’re telling me to stay away from you? Self-imposed conflict? SIGN ME UP.

And yet we must learn from the Todd Mannings of the world, ladies, even though Carly never, ever will because she is batshit crazy. The Todds will at some point make out with the ex girlfriend who they’re not really over, or stand you up in the rain (always in the rain), or lie to your face about that baby switch (okay, that’s more likely to happen when you’re a soap opera character). But it’s true and let us take heed: when a dude tells us he’s an asshole, let’s just listen, okay?

(Never mind the fact that once you blow him off he will want you even more. Unless you are at least five years younger, and very blonde and very pretty and very uninterested, it will never work. Learn from my and Carly’s mistakes, dear reader.)


Whoever writes the summaries for the cable guide is clearly a genuis. Here’s today’s summary for General Hospital.

A work of art.

Sonny has a sincere moment with Connie, who might also be Kate. 

The best part is this is totally accurate! I mean, how is the fate of soap operas in jeopardy?!